In working with clients over the past several years, I have found the idea of self-compassion to be a thread that runs through many of our conversations. Self-compassion is really just compassion turned inward, yet so many of us have such a difficult time showing compassion for ourselves.
I will spend the next several blog posts looking at self-compassion and I’ll begin by defining self-compassion.
As I said above, self-compassion is really just compassion turned inward. When we are compassionate with others, we share in another person’s suffering. We have a non-judgmental, kind attitude toward someone else who is having a difficult time. When we turn compassion inward, toward ourselves, we bring this same non-judgmental, kind attitude toward ourselves during times of suffering or difficulty. Rather than resist or run from our suffering, we accept it and bring kindness to our suffering and to ourselves in the midst of the suffering. In addition, an accepting, kind, self-compassionate stance toward ourselves allows us to see the reality of our difficulties within the context of being human. As humans we are imperfect, suffer and face difficulties and self-compassion helps us to see our suffering within this broader human context.
So many of us have such a hard time bringing compassion to ourselves and to our situation in life. We tend to beat ourselves up and blame ourselves for what is natural human suffering. Human suffering is difficult and there are obviously different types and levels of suffering, yet if we punish ourselves on top of our difficulties, we make things so much worse.
In future posts, I will talk about different ways to bring suffering to our lives. In the meantime, for those who are interested, please visit www.self-compassion.org and see the book, The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion, by Christopher Germer.
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