Posts Tagged ‘happiness’

13 Aug 2010 The Survival of the Kindest 2 Comments

When I was training at the Austin Child Guidance Center last year, my supervisors shared with me an article from Science Daily called “Social Scientists Build Case for ‘Survival of the Kindest’”. Evolution theory poses that species survive and evolve through the process of natural selection. This has often been translated as the “survival of the fittest”: only the strongest, most well equipped individuals within a species survive, which makes a species evolve and adapt in better ways to its environment. Translated to human beings, conventional wisdom for a long time has been that “survival of the fittest” means that human beings have to be inherently selfish and competitive in order to survive. Based on a growing body of scientific evidence a group of scholars from the UC Berkeley Greater Good Science Center and Oregon State University is calling this idea into question.

Human beings actually thrive on care, connection, and cooperation with one another. Empathy is hard-wired into our brain. People who have greater capacity for empathy experience lower stress levels and better health. This has to do with the hormone oxytocin, which is related to social interaction, nurturing, bonding, and romantic love. Researchers from UC Berkeley also found that people with greater empathy and generosity enjoy higher status and more cooperation from their peers, while people who act more selfishly have lower status and are even shunned by peers. Parents who raise their children to be “emotionally literate”, and cultivate kindness, generosity, and gratitude in their children, have children who are happier and more resilient.

Thus, a growing body of scientific evidence suggests that, as human beings, we function best when we are connected with others, and when we treat each other with kindness and compassion. This is not a new insight. In fact, kindness and compassion is the secret to happiness that is thousands of years old, and I recently wrote a more extensive page on this topic.

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Posted in Book & Media Recommendations, Brain & Neuroscience, Brain & Neuroscience - Book & Media Recs, Happiness & Well-Being, Happiness & Well-Being - Book & Media Recs, Relationships

1 Jun 2010 Looking for Something? Get “Lost”! No Comments

Perhaps this seems odd to give a plug to my favorite TV show, ABC’s Lost, on this website . What on earth does this have to do with psychology & well-being, you ask? Well, let me explain myself.

First, I have to say that I’m pretty bummed that Lost has concluded. I loved the finale. I’m still thinking about it! The main writers of the show, Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse, along with creator J.J. Abrams, have given us a spectacularly thought-provoking, deeply satisfying, and wonderfully entertaining experience.  I think it will be talked about for years to come, and its success may never be replicated on television.

Now, I have to admit that I did not watch Lost from the first episode in 2004. I had heard that it was good, and many friends implored me to watch it, but I resisted. I’m not sure why…maybe because they were pressing on me so hard about it. In social psychology, that’s known as “psychological reactance” – when we perceive that our freedom is infringed upon, we tend to act in ways to maintain our sense of freedom and control. Thus, when people insist we “must” do something, a part of us kicks in that says “you can’t make me!” As John Locke, a character in Lost would put it, “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!” Anytime a person would try to tell Locke he couldn’t do something, he wanted to prove them wrong. So, it sort of was like this for Lost with me.

Then what happened was a number of clients began recommending that I see it. “I probably will someday,” I would promise. I think I must have said that for a couple of years. I did intend on giving it a try…one day.

Then about two years ago, one of my longtime clients, with whom I shared many book & movie interests, kept giving me a hard time for not at least watching an episode or two. Week after week he would ask me if I had gotten around to seeing an episode. Sheepishly, I kept replying, “Uh, no. Not yet…”

Undaunted by my procrastination, he persisted, “Just try an episode or two…give it a chance. I guarantee you will love it!”

Well, a little over a year ago, I finally started watching Lost with my wife (we have about the same taste in TV & movies, fortunately). We were hooked within the 10 seconds. We eagerly watched 5 years of episodes within several months. Now, Lost has a voracious fan base. While I am a big fan of the show, I wasn’t posting to forums, reading blogs, dissecting every aspect of each episode, etc. So, I’m not sure whether I qualify as a “Lostee” or not. Maybe the fact that I’m now posting about it, I am!

This brings me to the reason that I’m posting about Lost. The show weaves very heavy subject matter within the story – about freedom, choice, faith, fate, philosophy, spirituality, religion…you name it. I’ve never seen or experienced a show that has so boldly, deftly, and successfully tackled such subject matter. The writers are clearly extremely brilliant…and well-read!

But at the heart of the show, I would say that the relationships among the characters are front & center. I’ve posted about how our relationships with others are inextricably linked with our own happiness and well-being. How does watching a TV show enhance our relationships with others, you might ask? As these characters in Lost grow and change over time, you come to really care about them…and what happens to them. There is such mystery in the show…layers upon layers…that, as a viewer, you want to connect with others and talk about these things.

For people who insist that all TV is dumbing down viewers…well, they probably haven’t watched Lost. My mind was doing cartwheels as I tried to do figure out aspects of the show. But I didn’t do this alone…millions of others were experiencing these same feelings.

In a way, the impact that Lost has had on people is not about the show itself. It is about the relationships with others we have in the real world that are strengthened as we connect with them about these mysteries and our favorite Lost characters. We share our ideas, hypotheses, frustrations, joys, and sorrows about the show. Lost has created endless fodder for conversations amongst viewers. Thus, like the relationships that are the heart of the show, we connect with other fans of the show, causing our own relationships to grow in the process. Happiness resides within our relationships  - none of us are truly lost when we are connected with one another.

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Posted in Book & Media Recommendations, Happiness & Well-Being, Happiness & Well-Being - Book & Media Recs, Relationships

13 Apr 2010 You Matter…Here’s Proof No Comments

I recently finished the audiobook Connected: The Surprising Power of Social Networks and How They Shape Our Lives by  Nicholas A. Christakis and James H. Fowler. As the name implies, the professors (Christakis a professor of medicine, sociology, and health care policy at Harvard and Fowler a professor of political science at UC San Diego) examine the power of social networks to influence in all walks of life.

The authors readily acknowledge the obvious – that social relationships have a great influence on our lives across just about any area we can think of  (e.g., religion, political opinions, our diet and weight, whether we start or stop smoking, who we date and marry, our happiness). The authors go into detail why and how this occurs. Using complex mathematical models (that they thankfully go into) they have even calculated the degree to which we influence one another in particular ways.

You’ve heard of “Six Degrees of Separation”…or the counterpart “Six Degrees of Kevin Beacon”? It is the idea that every person on earth is connected with every other person on earth by six degrees or less…or that every actor can be connected to Kevin Beacon in six degrees or less.

Well, it turns out there is truth to this idea. Perhaps more importantly, Christakis and Fowler are able to demonstrate that our behaviors and emotions do not occur in isolation. They are connected to our social networks. Thus, we influence others and influence others within this social networks to…get this…3 degrees. That is, my happiness does not only affect my friends’ happiness (no surprise there), but it affects my friends’ friends ‘ happiness (wow!), AND my friends’ friends’ friends’ happiness (AMAZING!).

Now, the book is wonderful but a little hard to get through…it is fairly dense with information. So, if you like science and fascinating facts on this type of topic, you will probably love this book. For the layperson, however, it might be a bit of a slow read.

Although I enjoyed the book, something that really struck me, given my therapy practice, is the idea of how much influence we have upon others. Sometimes I meet with clients who are experiencing feelings of depression who have come to believe that they don’t really matter. This very belief then magnifies these feelings of depression. For some, it can be at the very root of the depression itself.

But is it true? Is there evidence that we DO matter? The findings elucidated in this book answer that with a resounding, “YES!” Our thoughts, behavior, and feelings affect many people…even to three degrees…because we are interconnected within  vast social networks. We are not an island.

Now, a person experiencing depression might think, “Great! My depression is making others depressed as well…up to three degrees?! Yikes!” First, we influence others, we don’t control them. Our happiness, smoking habits influence others’ behavior…it does not dictate others’ behavior and moods. Second, the fact remains that if we affect others through such a network, we matter! This directly contradicts the belief that some hold that they don’t matter. We are important, even if we can’t always directly see it. The influence is there.

Now, since we have established we do matter, it is up to us to decide what kind of influence we want to have on others. You can find many other resources within this website and elsewhere that can help you improve your life in positive ways. Know that, when you do this, others benefit as well. You matter…we all do.

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Posted in Happiness & Well-Being, Relationships

27 Mar 2010 The Bucket List, Surfing, and Zen No Comments

I recently returned from my first trip to Hawaii…Aloha! I went with my family and had a wonderful time. It is truly magical there…I can see why everyone I’ve ever talked to who has visited there touts her beauty.

We stayed in Waikiki on Ohau for about a week…it was too difficult to make an adventure vacation out of it and travel between islands with a 6-year-old and a 3-year-old in tow. Nevertheless, it was fabulous.

Now, I don’t have an “official” bucket list. You know, the list of things you are supposed to do before you “kick the bucket”? But, IF I did do one, surfing would be at the top of my list. I’ve always heard great things about surfing…how entrancing it can be…and addictive. Growing up in Houston, well, there’s no surf in Houston. I went to Galveston a lot growing up but I can’t ever recall seeing surfers in Galveston. I think you would be hard-pressed to get favorable surf conditions in Galveston. I’m sure there are some opportunities there, but I missed them.

I’ve seen a few surfing documentaries that really stuck with me – Endless Summer, Stepping into Liquid, and Riding Giants. Now, I have NO desire to “ride giants” a la Laird Hamilton, but even clips of surfers riding small waves captivated me. Even more so, to hear how surfers would talk of their experiences had me saying to myself, “Whoa! I want to try THAT!”

I’ve heard that Hawaii is a great place to learn to surf, especially in areas along Waikiki. So, when my family planned this trip, I was excited to finally have a chance to give it a go.

For $30, I got a one hour surf lesson and a chance to live my dream. There were easy waves on that day…probably 4-5 feet tall that broke cleanly. My instructor was a Hawaiian native and I have absolutely no chance of spelling his name correctly, but it was pronounced “Kay-a-LEE-ee.” He was a nice guy and kept telling me to relax and slow down because I was acting like a dog in a butcher shop. I couldn’t help myself – this is finally IT!

As the first good wave approached, KayaLEEee calmly said, “Okay, there’s a good one coming. I’m going to give a push and when I say paddle, paddle. When I say get up, get up.”

Easy enough and he did just that. I paddled into a nice wave and felt myself rise up with it.  When I heard him tell me, I quickly but carefully pushed myself up. Although I wobbled a bit, the beginner board supported me well and I had my first ride, and one that I’ll never forget. I felt a wonderful connection to the wave and the greater ocean. All my cares were a million miles away.

To me, surfing lived up to the hype. I totally loved it. I rode several more waves that day, giddy with excitement all the while. I was able to go surfing two other days and I did these solo. It was tiring but oh so fun! The last wave I caught was probably around 6′ tall, and I timed it just right (a very challenging thing to do!) and fought hard to keep standing. I almost “ate it.” But I regained my balance and rode it as far as it would take me and then slid off my board into the ocean with an ear-to-ear grin on my face.

Even before I went surfing, I always noticed that it seems to have an almost meditative or Zen-like effect on the people who do it.  You have the beauty of nature, the hypnotic sound of the rolling waves, and a chance to become part of a wave and the ocean that you and it are within, if only for a short while.

I’ve blogged quite a bit about mindfulness – the idea of living in the present moment non-judgmentally. There is a lot of research that indicates that living mindfully engenders a sense of well-being. On a related note, there is the concept of getting into a state of “flow” (or “in the zone”) that also creates a sense of deep-rooted happiness. This occurs when we are completed engaged in an activity because the challenge of the activity requires our complete attention. During these states of flow, we lose track of time and ourselves in these activities.

Although many activities pull us into the present moment and get help us get into a state of flow (e.g., playing a musical instrument, sports, or a video game, acting, rock climbing, sparring in martial arts), there is something inherent, and perhaps rather unique, to surfing that I think elicits this state. To catch and ride a wave, you have to be completely focused and “living in the moment.” If you don’t give it your complete attention, you will lose your balance or even miss the wave entirely. Then you are also on the ocean, watching carefully for the “right” wave, listening to the sounds of the rolling and crashing waves, and so on. Finally, you can’t think about the wave that you missed because that would keep you from catching that next wave – and it is coming right at you! If you mess up, you always have another chance. But you have to “let go” of the missed wave and turn your attention to what lies just  ahead.

If you’ve never surfed before but it sounds interesting to you (and you are a strong swimmer), I highly recommend it. Make sure you take a lesson and only try it when conditions are favorable. The surf can be brutal. I definitely plan to go surfing again as soon as I have the opportunity. Come to think of it, I’ll MAKE the opportunity happen.

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Posted in Happiness & Well-Being, Mindfulness

5 Mar 2010 The Art of Happiness in a Troubled World (book recommendation) No Comments

I have read the original The Art of Happiness by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and psychiatrist Howard Cutler, M.D. three times and count it among my short list of favorite and influential books. They have worked on a series of books that include The Art of Happiness at Work (I got about 1/2 through it and just couldn’t get into it) and The Art of Happiness in a Troubled World.

All 3 books follow the same general format. Cutler interviews the Dalai Lama about topics related to happiness, human suffering, world problems, and so on and relates the Dalai Lama’s answers to his own life, his experiences in providing psychotherapy as a psychiatrist, and research findings from the realms of psychology, other social sciences, and neuroscience. So, you get a kind of “East meets West” discussion about happiness with some of Cutler’s personal reflections and experiences thrown in the mix.

The original The Art of Happiness has a primary focus on personal happiness and suffering whereas, as the name implies, The Art of Happiness in a Troubled World takes on more global topics such as terrorism, racism, intolerance, prejudice, hatred, greed, etc.

Through their discussions on the topic, it becomes quite clear how personal happiness and well-being are tied to more global issues such as intolerance, racism, and so on. Thus, by working on the development of our own compassion and inner peace, we increase our own happiness and the happiness of people around us simultaneously. The aggregate effect of millions (billions?) of people doing this would necessarily be a drastic reduction in many of societal ills (e.g., terrorism, genocide, racism).

Cutler asks many questions that we would all probably like to ask the Dalai Lama on these topics if given the chance. He presses the Dalai Lama when he doesn’t think the answers given are clear enough. Interestingly, the Dalai Lama often gives similar responses to many of the questions – pointing to the importance of looking at situations of many perspectives and trying to view them “realistically.” Cutler even chides His Holiness on this very point.

Looked at another way, the fact that the Dalai Lama often points to similar ways of addressing different problems points to the utility in what he is saying. Moreover, Cutler was able to use recent empirical data (the book was published in 2009) from social and positive psychology, neuroscience, and other fields to support the Dalai Lama’s viewpoints.

Cutler is able to get some specific techniques from the Dalai Lama that we can all use to broaden our perspectives and increase our compassion toward others. One thing I can say with certainty – there is some very useful…even life-changing…information in this book. If you choose to use it by practicing it regularly, it can improve your happiness and even that of others around you. However, it is all to easy to nod your head in agreement as you read this book and that go back to living the same old ways. So, I encourage you to try to take a few of your favorite nuggets from this book and put them into practice.

By the way, I listened to the audiobook (unabridged). The reader was very engaging and a good fit for the book.

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Posted in Book & Media Recommendations, Happiness & Well-Being, Happiness & Well-Being - Book & Media Recs

13 Feb 2010 Internet Addiction & Depression No Comments

As cited in a recent Reuters news article on MSNBC, a study by British scientists published in the journal Psychopathology found that people who spend a lot of time on the Internet are more depressed than those who don’t. In this study, the researches analyzed the Internet use of 1,319 Britons between the ages of 16-51. Of their sample, they classified 1.2 percent as “addicted” due to their high frequency of surfing, gaming, visiting sexually-related sites, and online communities.

The researchers found that people who were classified into the category of Internet “addiction” had a significantly higher incidence of experiencing moderate to severe depression. What wasn’t clear from this research is whether depressed people are more likely to become addicted to the Internet. Thus, excessive Internet use might not necessary “cause” depression, but rather be a symptom of it.

In my opinion, it is probably a bit of both. That is, people who are depressed might be more likely to spend exorbitant amounts of time on the Internet and, as they do so, they are likely to become more depressed. This fits very well with some other research that I read recently which indicated that people who use social networking sites such as Facebook to enhance existing relationships…people whom they associate with in real life…experience positive effects on their well-being. However, people who use social networking sites and the Internet as a substitute for real-world relationships are likely to become more depressed from the use of such technologies. This research found that older people in particular tend to use social networking sites as a replacement for real-world relationships whereas teens and young adults tend to use social networking sites to enhance their real-world relationships.

What can we do with this information in practical terms? Here’s something that you can hang your hat on: to be happy, we need real-world relationships. Research indicates that about 70% of our happiness comes from our relationships. This makes perfect sense. We are social creatures by nature and evolved to be in relationships with others. After all, for an infant to grow, he/she must be nursed and cared for by his mother. From birth, we need to be connected physically and emotionally in order to grow into healthy adults.

As wonderful as technology is, when it begins to replace real-world relationships, we will pay the consequences for it. We are fighting against hundreds of thousands of years of evolution when we start to disconnect from the physical presence of others. Yes, we might be socially networked through Facebook, texting, online gaming, etc., but this can’t serve as a substitute for real-world relationships.

So, keep an eye on your technology use and your real-world social networks. Are you meeting with friends several times per week? Are you involved in some clubs, hobbies, or sports that help you to connect with others? Are you finding that you are spending more and more time on your laptop or iPhone…playing FarmVille, texting, and so on? Be mindful that you will not be happy if you disconnect from people in the real-world to connect with others online. It is not that you have to give up technology or anything…this is not a forced choice. You just want to strike a careful balance. By keeping your finger on the pulse of your technology use and real-world social interactions, you can get the best of both worlds. Now, here I am alone in front of my computer blogging on a Saturday…DOH! I’m going to go spend some time with some friends and family now…  :-)

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Posted in Cyberpsychology - Technology and You, Happiness & Well-Being, Negative Moods & Emotions, Relationships

31 Jan 2010 The Ultimate Happiness Prescription by Deepak Chopra (book recommendation) No Comments

Just about everyone nowadays has at least a passing familiarity with Deepak Chopra. He’s an M.D., but has specialized in alternative medicine for about 2 decades. He’s been a consultant on countless news programs, been on Oprah Winfrey many times, etc. He definitely has his critics out there, and I’d say I’m a bit skeptical of some of his claims, but lack some of the knowledge of medicine and quantum mechanics to directly refute some of his statements. My friend had a DVD of Chopra that he showed me a couple of years ago that reminded me of some of the information contained in the documentary, What the (Bleep) Do We Know?

Chopra combines information from Eastern traditions, theological and philosophical thinking, psychology, neurology, quantum physics, mindfulness, and positive psychology in his unique way to promote physical and emotional well-being. I had the opportunity seeing Chopra speak in person at the 2009 Evolution of Psychotherapy Conference in Anaheim, California. Let me tell you, he is D-E-E-P ak. He led the audience from one step to another that took us deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole, so to speak. Some of the stuff that he presented on the nature of reality, the mind, and our existence was quite mind-boggling. My head felt like it was swimming near the end of his presentation. Who am I? Who are you? Does Deepak exist in reality, or did I create that reality in my head? Because my body and brain are made up of regenerated/replaced cells and atoms, we have all, in effect, died many times over???? We are blinking in and out of existence according to quantum physics but I always feel like I’m here? DOH!

As you can see, Chopra does get pretty far “out there.” I think physicists take him to task on some of his…”creative” interpretations of quantum physics. In 1998, according to Wikipedia, he was awarded the satirical Ig Nobel Prize in physics for “his unique interpretation of quantum physics as it applies to life, liberty, and the pursuit of economic happiness.” So, again, he is not without his critics.

Still, Chopra is obviously a very bright and learned man, and there is some helpful information in this book. In The Ultimate Happiness Prescription, he pulls together many of his teachings (that he gathered from other sources) that are designed help readers live happier, more fulfilling lives. Like other authors and spiritual teachers such as Eckhart Tolle, I don’t think Chopra is necessarily saying anything new (and some of his scientific and physics assertions are a stretch). But you don’t want to throw out the baby with the bath water here. If his writing connects with you and is useful, that’s what is most important. I would say that this book would appeal to the curious person who is looking for something “dense” but still fairly accessible. He integrates more science into his approach than other writers, such as Tolle or Jack Kornfield. It’s not for a casual, light read. If Chopra’s popularity or sometimes creative use of science is a major sticking point, then it might be best to bypass this book. I listened to the unabridged audiobook, which was read by Chopra.

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Posted in Book & Media Recommendations, Brain & Neuroscience, Happiness & Well-Being, Happiness & Well-Being - Book & Media Recs, Mindfulness, Mindfulness - Book & Media Recs

23 Jan 2010 Mindfulness for Beginners by Jon Kabat-Zinn (audiobook recommendation) No Comments

I’ve read and listened to a number of books and presentations by Jon Kabat-Zinn. He earned a Ph.D. from MIT  in molecular biology in 1971. He is a Professor of Medicine Emeritus and founding director of the Stress Reduction Clinic and the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. He is a pioneer in bringing mindfulness-based meditation to the West. He founded Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction clinics in a number of hospital settings and collected a great deal of research supporting the effectiveness of mindfulness meditation in addressing both emotional and physical afflictions.

Note that Mindfulness for Beginners is in audiobook format only and presented by Dr. Kabat-Zinn. It is a superb introduction to mindfulness in which he tells some of the historical foundations of mindfulness, how and why it is useful, and then proceeds to take listeners through a number of mindfulness-based meditations. So, approximately the last half of this audiobook should be listened to in a quiet setting as you go through some of the guided meditations.

Dr. Kabat-Zinn has a gentle, soothing voice, which makes this a relaxing, yet engaging listen. Also, he isn’t so much as reading from a book as giving you a one-on-one presentation about mindfulness. I know there’s a lot of information about mindfulness on the ApaCenter site and elsewhere and, if you find this interesting, Mindfulness for Beginners would be a great place to start.

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Posted in Book & Media Recommendations, Happiness & Well-Being, Happiness & Well-Being - Book & Media Recs, Mindfulness, Mindfulness - Book & Media Recs

18 Jan 2010 Is Diet Related to Depression? No Comments

Many studies have shown that our diet affects physical health such as cardiovascular disease and diabetes. However, up until recently, researchers haven’t explored the effects of diet on our mental health. A recent study that was published in the American Journal of Psychiatry found that diet is in fact associated with mental health.

This study out of the University of Melbourne in Australia compared those whose diet included mostly processed foods like fried foods, sugary products, and refined grains with people who ate a more healthy diet made up of fruits, salads, fish, beans, nuts, and yogurt. The study found that the group that ate mostly processed foods was approximately 50% more likely to have depression.

While this research shows that diet is associated with people’s mood, it’s difficult to discern whether your diet actually can change your mood or if your mood can change your diet. However, the researchers of this study claim that it’s possible that a healthy diet may improve your mood. They noted other studies that found that if someone had a poor quality diet, they were more likely to develop depression. Therefore, depression itself didn’t lead to a poorer diet. Further research is needed to determine just how much eating healthy foods can actually relieve feelings of depression.

These results are very important to learning more about depression and how to treat it. Many general practitioners will tell their patients that diet and exercise are imperative for a healthy body. But, the researchers in this study suggest that psychiatrists and other mental health clinicians should also recommend improving their patients’ diets. Eating healthier foods is better for us, overall. A healthy diet can make us feel better both physically and mentally.

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Posted in Brain & Neuroscience, Happiness & Well-Being, Negative Moods & Emotions

16 Jan 2010 "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle (book recommendation) 3 Comments

Eckhart Tolle is a spiritual teacher and author of the bestseller The Power of Now, which I read after one of my clients highly encouraged me to do so. I’ve read A New Earth twice now (well, read once then listened to the unabridged audiobook) and prefer it to The Power of Now. Perhaps I’ll give The Power of Now another try, but I felt like Tolle was saying the same message over and over in that book, which can neatly be summed up in the title.

In general, I would say that, in A New Earth, Tolle is taking spiritual messages that have their roots in Eastern religions and philosophies and reinterpreting these for a more Western audience. But he also taps into teachings from the New Testament and Jesus’ sayings and puts them into more of an Eastern point of view. Thus, he taps in teachings from Taoism, Buddhism, Zen, Sufism, Hinduism, the Bible, the Tao Te Ching, Rumi’s poetry, Christian mysticism, and A Course in Miracles, as well as teachings of Jesus, the Buddha, Krishnmurti, Meister Eckhart, and Ramana Maharshi.

Although I don’t believe that Tolle is really saying anything new, he is putting old teachings into his voice and oftentimes makes a powerful case for the need to break free of “the ego,” which is our false sense of self, and live more in the present moment.

Psychologists would call mostly what Tolle espouses to be variations of mindfulness teachings, which again come from Eastern religions and philosophies. To my knowledge, Tolle never uses the term “mindfulness” to describe his teachings and doesn’t really relate what he is saying to Western psychology.

I do really like A New Earth and have recommended it to some clients. I think he synthesizes Eastern teachings well and puts them into terms with which a Western audience can identify. Importantly, borrowing a teaching from Buddhism, Tolle is not the moon. He is merely a finger pointing at it. The significance and truth of what he is trying to say is not about him at all. He is trying to point to truths to which we can all identify when we are still and reflect upon our own lives and the world around. These same truths have been identified by countless other spiritiual teachers and related books over thousands of years. This fact alone says that there is something to them.

But I want to emphasize that A New Earth is not a religion, nor do I think Tolle is  trying to found a religion. In fact, these same teachings are found in about every major religion. So, one does not have to be of a certain faith to benefit from this information. One can find these same teachings in pretty much any religion out there.

Now, here are a few caveats. Tolle is a bit of an odd bird. He said that he was pretty depressed throughout most of his life and was contemplating suicide at the age of 29 when he had a profound “awakening” which forever changed his life. In a sense, he dis-identified with his ego and has been living a fulfilling, very “present” life since that time.

Because Tolle gets a little out there at times, you might need to have an open mind to read this book. I just gloss over certain parts. But I want to be careful not to throw out the baby with the bathwater. I think about 95% of what Tolle says makes sense and is very consistent with teachings from other philosophies as well as much of Western psychology.

Tolle comes across as a very thoughtful, deep-thinking individual who does not appear to get flustered by the things that typically cause most of us a lot of distress (e.g., fretting about the future, how others view us, regrets). I’ll assume this isn’t some grand affectation. He can get kind of  ”new age-y” sometimes but, as I said, I just skim over those parts.

Tolle frequently makes grand, unequivocal assertions about how humans and the world work without a shred of evidence to support what he is saying. Sometimes this bothers me, but then I question whether my own ego is getting in the way. Also, he does not “cite his sources.” For instance, it bothers me that he doesn’t give enough credit to the spiritual teachers who have influenced his thinking or from whom he borrows ideas. He is, as famously uttered by Sir Isaac Newton, “standing on the shoulders of giants.”

Tolle did a 10-part interview series with Oprah Winfrey in which they went through A New Earth chapter by chapter with a global, Skype audience. They took questions from callers and answered emails from listeners as well. Each of these 10 webinars was 90 minutes long with the last one being 2 hours. All of these are available for free on iTunes if you look under “Podcasts” and do a search for “Oprah Tolle.” You can get these in video or audio format. I recommend the latter because it is just a dialog - there’s really nothing to watch.

I’m not a die-hard Oprah fan or anything, but I do think she means well, and I certainly don’t consider her the Anti-Christ! I think she did a nice job of rephrasing some of what Tolle said to make more understandable to listeners. Many people Skyped in with some wonderful questions.

All-in-all, I highly recommend A New Earth with the few caveats I listed. I don’t think he is some supra-guru or anyone to “follow.” He is but one of many spiritual teachers out there who are heavily influenced by Eastern religions and philosophies. I think he does a nice job of reinterpreting profound teachings from Eastern and other religions and making them more palatable to a Western audience.

I would recommend that you try the first 3 chapters and listen to each of the accompanying webinars as you go along. If you don’t like it at that point, there’s probably no use continuing. He has a particular way of writing and expressing things that resonates with many people, but is to everyone’s liking.

Please keep reading my blogs, and I promise to review other books that come at some of the same teachings but from much different angles than Tolle.

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