When a teen is angry, he or she is trying to tell you something. Sometimes they are simply frustrated with your rules and limits. Other times their anger reflects underlying fear, sadness, confusion, or feelings of rejection. Whatever the reason for your child’s anger, don’t let it drive you apart. Your teen still needs you, maybe more than ever.
The first guideline for dealing with an angry teen is to keep the lines of communication open. Arrange frequent fun times together, so you’re not always focused on the conflict. Consider planning an outing where you can talk with your teen about his or her anger. Start a conversation with something like, “I’ve noticed that you’re yelling and arguing more than in the past. What’s going on?” Then listen, ask questions to understand, and avoid giving any instruction or directions unless your child asks. Do let you teen know how to express his/her anger appropriately.
In some cases extreme anger or irritability can indicate the presence of more serious concerns, like depression or reaction to a trauma. Some youths need outside help learning to express anger appropriately. In these situations, consider seeking the advice of a psychologist or counselor.
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